Re: Need enlightenment
 

Good that u r becoming aware of ur faults.

Taking a step back before commenting may be better. If u r hot tempered person, then u need to realize what is ur trigger points and how to control them. This would help u in working life. Go take 5 or take some deep breadth if u feel like losing it.

However does not mean you should spoilt her by giving in all the times. It would not make a relationship last.

Best of luck bro.

Re: Need enlightenment
 

Bro thanks for advice

Re: Need enlightenment
 

Hello. I don't think u should tell her that. She will pick up why you were acting moody and all and all because you were unhappy of a god Damn shoe. By saying it no matter how cheeky you phrase it, she will still get it de lor. Its honestly really very petty la. From a girl's pov. You say liao maybe her turn to get angry at u. LOL. Unless she's naive enough to believe that cheeky sentence la. And say ya I don't want calluses, Maybe I shouldn't wear it. What's the chance of that. And I think she'll leave you again if this controlling mindset of yours don't change. But you like to be controlling and like people to follow your wishes leh. Den how now brown cow. You want to change for her ? Or you want to find another more obedient girlfriend.

Re: Need enlightenment
 

" .... I just wished she didn't. "

Honestly ask yourself.. she must listen to you? You own her?

This is MCP mentality. Spare a thought for others. Not everyone is meant to be a companion. If u can't let go of MCP thinking, better to stay single.

Re: Need enlightenment
 

TS, looks like u love part of her and not the whole package. Love is about compromises where u can and agreeing to disagree when u can't.

If u cannot accept that she is her own woman, then it does not bode well for the relationship, moving forward.

Re: Need enlightenment
 

How about moving backwards or sideways?

Re: Need enlightenment
 

Lolz.....never think of it as such....think it becomes too complex and I'll get a headache :D

Re: Need enlightenment
 

Ts. If im your girl, I will remove my heels for you. ....


And ........


THROW THEM ON YOUR HEAD OR AIM THEM AT YOUR SMALL BROTHER.
Heels are such sexy pairs of shoes a woman can ever don on and sharp ones?
They are Gorgeous!! Not like shes gonna wear them every other day!
Don't like her heels? Go shopping with her and buy her all the heels you both like
together then.
Otherwise, dont ever control what she buys.

Re: Need enlightenment
 

TS bro
key to a better relationship is respect, understanding, communication, compromise, etc

no one can be 100% to your liking
likewise u can't be 100% perfect for her, a woman can pick on many things about a guy like income, looks, sensitivity, fashion sense, etc etc

she is willing to taper down her character to make u feel more like a man
why can't u just let her wear what she likes; heels, dress and such makes them feel more feminine
just the way how guys like to dress in certain ways to portray a certain image or style.

and using your job as an excuse is not an excuse
that just shows how childish u are in this aspect, if she had a bad day at work can she lash out at u?

after u shown her that lousy attitude she is still willing to pacify u, it shows how much she is willing to put in the effort
i think most other women will stick that heels in your skull

u just won her back, don't do things to chase her away again
this time she won't be back
all the best

Re: Need enlightenment
 

This should be the most interesting thread for me this CNY.

Bro TS,

You may have your pet peeve and so does she. THere's no right nor wrong just a matter of perspective. Try to talk it out and straighten both your thoughts and hers. The more you control, the more you may lose it.

And relax. This is a very small matter.

Re: Need enlightenment
 

Initially I couldn't believe what I read. And it doesn't make you feel less guilty just because you admitted you are sensitive, close minded, job stress etc. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to be harsh with you (I do not have the right anyway) but if you would take a moment to reflect on what I think :

1) If pointed heel and open heel shoes are going to upset you because it will cause her toes to be crooked since you have are a fan (..er fetish?) for nice toes, think about how you are going to accept her when you both grow old into your fifties, 60's, 70's and beyond?

2) Love for your partner is more than just attraction to physical attributes. Young women are indeed lovely demure creatures with flawless skin, body and they smell good. Re evaluate your love for her, my assessment is I think it is still very shallow and not enough to bring it to another level without experiencing the frustrations and not getting the expectations.

3) If she doesn't complain about your less than perfect physical attributes, be thankful. Give her room to be herself, like what you would like for yourself.

In any relationship, it is best to lower one's expectations and build on love and trust and always keep that sense of humour between the both of you.

TS, if you thanked me for my advice like you did for the bros above, I can take it that you are not that sensitive as you made yourself out to be ;-)

Re: Need enlightenment
 

Honest advice given. It was a pleasure reading your post. the third point mentioned serves as an important reminder of doing what you want others to do to you. Probably not all about lowering expectations, but more of adapting to the differences between each other and the weaknesses as well. 体会, 体谅与包容.

Re: Need enlightenment
 

I was looking for a " like " button for your comment! :)

Re: Need enlightenment
 

I was kinda free today and started reading some of the posts here, and I like to comment on this post. You see, I always tell people " If two person come together and quarrel" then what's the point. I guess in every relationship I think there are stages, Several stages and I like to demonstrate it something like this . " when I was young I kinda like everyone, as i grew older I like someone but not everyone, yet as i age further I like everyone except that someone " (haha just a joke.) Ok back to the topic.. I think while in a relationship it has to be one of embracing rather than one of wanting to control the other party. Even when they are married to you they also need their freedom ( space ) to do whatever they feels like doing , so if you think by liking someone or even marrying someone you can imprison them and feed your own fantasy, then u are in for a rough relationship! A relationship that is only existed in your mind. So i guess sometime we have to know what we really want to even want to start on a journey, otherwise we are wasting alot of time and time is the essence to everything, especially in relationship.

Re: Need enlightenment
 

Thank you for wanting to find that "like"