[btwn68n70]

Sigh fellow bros i need enlightment, most of you are married/experienced in this aspect so hopefully be able to guide me on this journey of relationship.

I made a few threads about my ex gf about 6 months ago and talked about how much i longed for her, some of you told me to move on and some told me to give it another shot. About a month plus ago i finally had the courage to text her and to cut long story short, we were back together after an extremely strenuous conversation. She was my gf for 4 years before this.

I was gleaming with joy all the time since i got back with her, i love her a lot and im pretty certain she does too. However, perhaps due to my close-mindedness(more on this later) i cannot see myself in a future with her. Shes a very headstrong and independant girl and perhaps too much, when shes with me she does act demure and lovely but i can sense that these will eventually fade. As you guys know if a women is too headstrong its both psychologically and sexually repulsive. But again, she has a lot of character amd i think thats why im so attracted to her.

Today i threw a tanthrum at her, I suppose im the one who is too sensitive and i blame myself for it. Its for an extremely small matter and Im sure most bros here will go like wtf and think im extremely childish. I previously told her that to avoid wearing heels that have a pointed tip. I have a huge foot fetish and I know that pointe heels would make her have a crooked big toe so i told her not to wear it but if she wants, buy open heels instead. Today she told me she bought her first pair of heels and guess what, pointe heels. Immediately i felt unhappy but i know how childish it is to be angry at her over a pair of heels so when she was talking about it i told her to stop and never mention it again.

I felt unhappy because despite me telling her to not do something i dont like, she does it. And the worst part is that she isnt doing it to go against me, she bought it because she thinks it looks nice. I acknowlege my retardedness in this matter and when she phoned me i spoke very little throughtout the night and she kept asking why but i didnt say despite her asking many times. I know im too insensitive, petty and insecure. However i cannot control how i feel, i can only find a way to supress and then get over it in a few days. Perhaps im very stressed up by needing to drive a lot in heavy traffic in the day (sales job, $&#% 5km/l petrol).

Bros can you enlighten me, how should i deal with issues like this in the future? I understand that im not someone who controls her life and instruct her what to do and what not, i just wished she didnt. The heels is a small issue but the underlying matter is huge and im sure it will hit us(me) hard in the future. What can i do to improve myself? How can i grow up from these childish and insecure thinkings? I just feel like I love her very very much but i cant see a future of us together