How did I ever get into this ridiculous situation? I mean, who has ever heard of a grown man being hospitalised for extreme poison ivy irritation anyway? My sad tale began a few weeks ago while hiking when I clumsily fell down a hill and, as fate would have it, landed smack dab in the largest poison ivy bush I believe exists.
Talk about your shitty luck, and since I had not had Poison Ivy since I was at camp as a child, I had no idea how serious my situation would soon become. To even make my tale even more embarrassing and stupid and to make matters infinitely worse, I was only wearing jogging shorts at the time without underwear (God I am stupid!). This meant that every inch, and I do mean EVERY INCH of my body was affected by the ivy and for the next week I knew what hell was.
At first I thought some good old fashioned calamine lotion might do the trick, but due to the scope of my rash, and the very embarrassing areas that were also affected, the incessant itching was driving me crazy. Unable to sleep at night, or work in the day, the problem was only getting worse with time, and I finally broke down and made a very embarrassing trip to my doctor.
My skin looked like I had been attacked by a cheese grater from the injuries I was inflicting upon myself and when I went to my doctor he suggested that I check into the hospital for a few days for a special experimental treatment that should help. Little did I realized what that treatment was going to be all about.
When I first arrived in my room Suzanne, my very attractive and top-heavy brunette nurse, instructed me that for the duration of my treatment I would have to refrain from scratching myself, no matter how badly it itched.
Also, to my chagrin, I discovered that I was going to be coated from head to toe every hour on the hour with a special ointment that will fight the rash. The only catch was I would have to remain completely naked during this whole time in order for the treatment to be effective as any contact with cloth would cause the medicine to be absorbed into the fibers rather than my tormented skin and thus would be counter-productive. The whole procedure would take 3 days and despite the embarrassment, I thought of worse fates than watching TV in bed and relaxing on the insurance company's dime.
I was immensely and instantly attracted to Suzanne, and was very hesitant about disrobing in front of her as parts of my anatomy were already telegraphing my feelings quite loudly when in her presence. She, being the professional that she was, seemed a bit amused but unmoved by my predicament. As I stripped off my shorts I reflexively covered myself with my cupped hands as I lay down on the bed.
"No need to do that," she replied as she laid a rather small handkerchief right over my cock.
It provided little in the way of modesty, but it was better than having my schlong out for the whole world to see all day. Without thinking about what she had said earlier, I began to scratch my arm with my hand as it was itching intensely.
Like an angry mother correcting a wayward child she slapped my hand.
"What did I tell you about scratching yourself? If you don't follow our instructions properly, we will have to restrain you." She glowered like an exasperated mom yelling at her children. " If you scratch yourself, you remove the ointment which is counterproductive to your treatment now isn't it?" she continued to preach as I flushed with embarrassment.
I nodded that I understood, and tried to think about something else other than the war fighting out over my flesh. The first 20 minutes were not too bad but things only got worse and worse as time went on. Obviously the ointment relieved the itching a bit so I was able to relax, but the cooling sensation wore off quickly and the infernal sensations came back rapidly. Try as I might I could not help myself and as soon enough I was furiously flaying the skin off of my stomach as she entered the room.
"Aha! I caught you!" she yelled, with a hint of playfulness in her tone.
I pleaded that the itching was just too much and she shook her head disappointedly. "I thought we would not have to take these measures with a grown man, but since you are weak and can't control yourself, we will have to restrain you."