HIV Testing

repent2009 · #1 29-01-2009, 09:29 PM

Sorry guys, I just need to find a venue to voice out, as I have been struggling for many days and without anyone to speak to.

After cheoging for years behind my wife's back (Thailand massage parlour girls, La Su Ba girls once, FL at Geylang (PRC and $40) and Thai FLs through FL zone in sammyboy, I have made up my mind to go for my first 30 days HIV testing this Saturday (last Fuck job at end of Dec 2008, previously all protected FJs, some protected BJs, BBBJs, frenching, 69s).

I should have done this long time ago, but I fear finding out the truth. The main factor that push me to finally pick up the courage to do this is my wife is pregnant. It was only when my wife is pregnant that I finally woke up and think logically, rather than letting my small head wins over my big head everytime. The fear of a positive result engulf me everyday. I started getting very sensitive to every small signs of symptoms. Small lump in my mouth, some circular rings of white on my tongue and underneath. I also started to pay attention that my tongue tends to bleed slightly whenever I scrub my tongue. I started doing massive research on anything to do with HIV during office hours.

I regretted going to these WLs, feeling stupid about letting them BBBJ me and going south on them. I have risked my life, my wife's and my baby's for mere minutes of pleasure. I feel so shameful now everytime I look at my wife, failing to keep faithful and exposing her to needless risks.

This Saturday's test will be crucial, at least I can look forward to the next tests that I have planned (3 months and 6 months).

I don't know if I can take it if the result is positive and worse how am I going to tell my wife. She will be devastated and I will die if I lose her or she hate me forever. It is only now that I realize how much I love my wife and how foolish I had been. I'm preying hard for the result this Saturday and the subsequent ones.

If I survive this, I'm also planning to go to DSC to do thorough checkup on any STDs that I might have that I don't know. I want to be a happy and healthy husband and daddy.

To all brothers, stop now if you can. Simple masturbation or gadgets like flip-hole solve your problem. Its not worth the risk. If you definitely need to, use condom at all time for FJ & BJ and never go south on and french anyone other than your love ones.

nch08 · #2 31-01-2009, 12:45 AM

Best wishes

bedtime-stories · #3 31-01-2009, 01:07 AM

hey cheer up..its not the end of the world until your results are out n confirmed if + or -..u r stressing yrself by the actions n ways u r thinking n doing..i doubt when u were enjoying u didnt even bother a second thought of them in mind..better hang on tight n think ahead abt your baby rather than thinking abt unnecessary issues..wat if u suddenly jus spill out the beans in front of your wife before any conclusion is finalise???outcome will be worst right if end up u are given the all clear..so for now my friend jus an advice..cheer up, live life as it is n plan ahead for your new addition to the family..lastly, its time to stay clear of some "things" that u mention u will not indulge in anymore..best of luck...

repent2009 · #4 31-01-2009, 03:17 PM

Thanks bros for the kind words and advise

I wanted to wait till today to take the HIV test, but I couldn't take it anymore and went to DSC yesterday.

Went for HIV test (30 days) result negative, also went for Syphilis and Hepatitis B test (1 week get result). I nearly freaked out while waiting for the test and can't help but shed some tears when I heard the word negative. Doctor asked me to go back on the 3 months to do another test. I'm thinking of going in 1 month time to do another check and then another one 1 month later which is the 3 months. I'm also thinking of asking them to do other tests as well one month later, to make sure that I'm clean. I did so much research these few days and found out that some STDs have no symptoms until much later, and worse since i done oral for WLs before and STDs symptoms for oral are not so obvious. I'm praying hard that my syphilis and hepatitis B tests turn out negative.

This is really a "growing up" stage for me. I used to think about the joy and pleasure of sex with WLs, but now thinking of my past behaviors really make me afraid and shameful. I had sleepless nights for the past few days and yesterday was at least a break for me (I slept better, though still woke up some time and started thinking about things).

peanut123 · #5 31-01-2009, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by repent2009

This is really a "growing up" stage for me. I used to think about the joy and pleasure of sex with WLs, but now thinking of my past behaviors really make me afraid and shameful. I had sleepless nights for the past few days and yesterday was at least a break for me (I slept better, though still woke up some time and started thinking about things).

Bro, you have a wife, and soon a kid(s), so its right that you stop. Don't risk infecting her and your child with STDs. She'll never forgive you if the unborn child is affected.

And if one day you are tempted to try WLs again, play safe and use a condom for all your activities, including BJs, and stop painting the WLs.

Good luck and take care.

bedtime-stories · #6 01-02-2009, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by repent2009

Thanks bros for the kind words and advise

I wanted to wait till today to take the HIV test, but I couldn't take it anymore and went to DSC yesterday.

Went for HIV test (30 days) result negative, also went for Syphilis and Hepatitis B test (1 week get result). I nearly freaked out while waiting for the test and can't help but shed some tears when I heard the word negative. Doctor asked me to go back on the 3 months to do another test. I'm thinking of going in 1 month time to do another check and then another one 1 month later which is the 3 months. I'm also thinking of asking them to do other tests as well one month later, to make sure that I'm clean. I did so much research these few days and found out that some STDs have no symptoms until much later, and worse since i done oral for WLs before and STDs symptoms for oral are not so obvious. I'm praying hard that my syphilis and hepatitis B tests turn out negative.

This is really a "growing up" stage for me. I used to think about the joy and pleasure of sex with WLs, but now thinking of my past behaviors really make me afraid and shameful. I had sleepless nights for the past few days and yesterday was at least a break for me (I slept better, though still woke up some time and started thinking about things).

hey gd to hear your first stage cleared..anyway there's not a need to keep going for tests every mth..jus go for it in 3mths time n u will know the outcome totally than..hope yr results next wk will turn in your favour..anyway every one has their own growing up stage..some might be worst than u..there's always joy to anything that one enjoys but remember wats done cannot be undone so think abt this in future if theres a need to it..so for now,sleep well n concentrate on building up yr family n responsibilities..cheers

sextouch · #7 01-02-2009, 10:38 AM

i admire you logical tinking now. dun dispair as its still not too late to change

repent2009 · #8 01-02-2009, 11:06 AM

Thanks all bros for the kind words

Yes, I know she might never forgive me if something will to happen to her and our baby. This is the main thing that I'm so worried about now, not so much about me, but my wife and our baby.

I'll never go back to my old ways again. I have learned about whats most important in life - health and family, and how foolish I was before.

The other reason why I wanted to go for another test in the 2nd month is also to ask them if there are any other tests that I could do to make sure I don't have any other STDs, and also to have abit more confident to look forward to the 3rd month test if I pass the 2nd month test.

I certainly hope that its still not too late for me.

My wife tried to seek for sex yesterday night, but I have to tell her that I'm tired to avoid this. I'll have to refrain from sex until the 3 month test or even the 6 month test.

peanut123 · #9 01-02-2009, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by repent2009

My wife tried to seek for sex yesterday night, but I have to tell her that I'm tired to avoid this. I'll have to refrain from sex until the 3 month test or even the 6 month test.

I don't think you need to be so kiasu lar. Its ok for you to have sex with your wife as long as you use a condom. But avoid letting her suck your dick unprotected to be safe.

repent2009 · #10 03-02-2009, 01:53 PM

Went down to DSC today for other STD tests just to have a peace of mind.
Asked doctor about window period and told only syphilis and HIV need at least 3 months, the rest when get results are confirm ones.

Had trouble sleeping again, hopefully I can sleep tonight. Waiting for some good results this week and next. A very long and cruel wait till March for more tests on syphilis and HIV, and thinking of also hepatitis C and herpes. Kiasu, but I need to get the confident that I'm clear of everything.

Saw past thread on glove by DSC nurses and doctors, can't remember if they use new gloves. Can STDs be spread in this way from others infected to me? More worrying.

repent2009 · #11 03-02-2009, 01:55 PM

my wife is pregnant and using a condom is a straight giveaway that something is wrong.

repent2009 · #12 05-02-2009, 05:01 PM

not a day without guilt and remorse. why didn't i use condom for bj, why did i paint the WLs.....why did i risk my wife.....

went down for more testings today...told that my syphilis 30 days result is negative, but have to wait till 3 month.

Read more stuff on internet about stds and how my wife and baby will get affected if i got stds and passed to my wife.

i don't know how i can wait until the 3rd month....having nightmare every night of my wife crying.....i am such a fucking jerk....

plan to go down on the 2nd month to test for more stuff, i know some might not be conclusive, but at least i can have more hope or at least earlier help for my wife and baby....

lohwengkuen · #13 10-02-2009, 01:01 PM

don worry...i screw more than 30 prostitutes in my 3years and i am negative....just stay protected...

jurongwestst91 · #14 10-02-2009, 02:53 PM

Reading all the stories here remind me of myself. I started off cheonging in a very safe and sensible manner, with condom and only in massage parlour here where girls are checked annually. Over time, accidents happen and I get worried. Went for check-up and it turn out to be ok. After that I get bolder and bolder and go for dangerous liaisons. Most of the times even hoping that the condom break. It is rather easy to make the condom break actually if you know how although you may not succeed every time. But I should not touch on this for fear it might cause more harm to others trying to copy my very foolish acts. I know I have already mentioned foolish but I just can’t stop it. I regretted doing it every time but when I see a new chio bu again, my little head just took over my senses. Now I am really afraid to go for check-up hoping and praying things will turn out fine. I know one of this day I am going to get it if I continue my foolish ways. As the Chinese saying goes “Go up the mountain too often and you will eventually bang into a tiger”. I am not sure why I decided to write this story. Maybe I hope god will forgive me by confessing my foolishness.

repent2009 · #15 10-02-2009, 05:51 PM

every minute spent looking at my wife makes me realize how much i love her and how guility and remorse i am for putting her and our baby at risk. I pray everyday that nothing happens to them and let everything come to me instead. Everyday is a painful wait for results. Results for STDs and waiting for the 3 month mark for the dreadful HIV test. I had nightmare every night and have to cry quietly by the side of my wife, controlling and not letting her find out. I kept imagining her crying and asking me why did I do this to her. I don't think I can live on if I lose her.