Y am i always the one initiating for xxx?

[Pinkypant]

Hi, this is my first post in sammyboy.

I saw many post in sbf, where their wives reject hubby in sex, and hubby finding out why. For me, is the other way round. This problem exists since the day we are tog. I always quarrel with him over this. Bec my bf either like to watch porn and he seldom req from me. I always ask him is it he is no longer interested in me..

fyi, i think im pleasant enough, in terms of looks and figure.

But he always denied. Not that he doesnt req from me. But very seldom. He can go without for like 2-3 weeks? Im quite sure he doesnt eat out. If he is low sex drive, y he watches porn? Is it bec of low esteem?

I cnt go to his house bec of his parents. But i keep on thinking of ways. Such as looking for budget hotels in jb. He just need to book it. But he is lazy and take so long to book.

He may sound like bad guy to ur. But he is not. He loves me, and take good care of me.

I need advice from guys is it bec of other reasons tht i dont know.
I do not welcome comments such as " he doesnt love u, he have someone outside".. Bec i know these are not the reason.

He may get to see this post. But i dont care.

I need genuine advice. Thks!

[wanderer23]

Originally Posted by Pinkypant

Hi, this is my first post in sammyboy.

I saw many post in sbf, where their wives reject hubby in sex, and hubby finding out why. For me, is the other way round. This problem exists since the day we are tog. I always quarrel with him over this. Bec my bf either like to watch porn and he seldom req from me. I always ask him is it he is no longer interested in me..

fyi, i think im pleasant enough, in terms of looks and figure.

But he always denied. Not that he doesnt req from me. But very seldom. He can go without for like 2-3 weeks? Im quite sure he doesnt eat out. If he is low sex drive, y he watches porn? Is it bec of low esteem?

I cnt go to his house bec of his parents. But i keep on thinking of ways. Such as looking for budget hotels in jb. He just need to book it. But he is lazy and take so long to book.

He may sound like bad guy to ur. But he is not. He loves me, and take good care of me.

I need advice from guys is it bec of other reasons tht i dont know.
I do not welcome comments such as " he doesnt love u, he have someone outside".. Bec i know these are not the reason.

He may get to see this post. But i dont care.

I need genuine advice. Thks!

Me thinks he is watching too much porn and masturbating to them if you ask my opinion. That could explain for the "low" sex drive

[stickychewy]

Sis,

Give him more time and space.

My 1 sen advice is that he probably subconsciously not feeling that confident or secure about himself as a man also...

What confidence or security you ask?

His ego as derived from own earning power, position, power, status, etc etc...

Your bf probably those type who is concerned very much with these things.

Take it easy on him and give him some time to find his "niche".

[tobi69]

Originally Posted by Pinkypant

Hi, this is my first post in sammyboy.

He may get to see this post. But i dont care.

I need genuine advice. Thks!

Hi Sis,how long have u been together wif this BF?Have u talk to him regarding this? Maybe hes turn on more by watching porn?Something is not rite somewhere, and we can just list all the reasons but the best is still to get the answer from him...

[joew2005]

if he saw u with other men ..... hw would he response ??

[Devil4U]

sex often needs alot of communication as well. Instead of asking us...why not find a comfortable time with him and lied on bed, talk to him on this issue?

Trust me, if he loves u, he will let u know why things are liked now. Hope u 2 work out well

[waahaa]

maybe he gets intimidated by the porno flicks, cos the guys are chosen for the ability to stay hard and delay cumming, and they're long too

[freezetheDB]

try to initiate and turn him on with first a blowjob

[Blackhand]

Originally Posted by Pinkypant

Hi, this is my first post in sammyboy.

I saw many post in sbf, where their wives reject hubby in sex, and hubby finding out why. For me, is the other way round. This problem exists since the day we are tog. I always quarrel with him over this. Bec my bf either like to watch porn and he seldom req from me. I always ask him is it he is no longer interested in me..

My guess is your bf lacks of the psychological side of stimulation from you - at least that is from what I can derive on your emphasis on the porn part. Yes, ALL men loves porn. But there are so many categories and fetishes in porn. Try to investigate his porn titles and find some clue there.

Role play a bit and dressing in costumes, lingerie or stockings (depends on what turns him on) to act out his fantasies. Be fun & adventurous - fondle or tease his manhood (or vice versa invite him to) in the public when no one is looking will also build up his excitement.

But remember, these are just some tips. E.g. If you discover that he may prefer you to slim down, then ask him to join u to exercise together to achieve the goal. Its only fair - but more importantly, its helps to build a healthy two-way relationship...unless he is really chauvanistic and shows his commitment to you in other ways.

Lastly, genuine pleasure from both party is the key to sex between a serious couple. That is why regardless of fetish, men in general loves moan and wetness. GFE will definitely stand out even if he is really "eating out".

[acet]

your bf watch porn because he need mental stimulation to make him high.

it is safe to say that u only hungry for sex but maybe direct penetration.

guys like me doesnt really care about penetration. We feel more lusty and stimulated when our minds are stimulated.

For your bf, he need 70% foreplay/petting compare to 30% of actualy penetration.

The pecentage might vary depend on either party's inferiority complex.

Maybe for you, you want 90% penetration and 10% foreplay.

Try to explore his needs and give rather than always taking.

Singaporean girls are very demanding not in terms of volume, but in terms of self requirement.

[Dark_Traveller]

Sis,

First of all you are really smart enough to come here for sex advise... hee hee... . Ok back to business, like you say that you want to stop initiating for sex, right? My advise is 1st, talk to him about things like what does he like to do during sex, what is his fav. position and etc... then tell me how you are feeling or sometime you can also dress lesser, like going to the movie bra-less (of cos must be well cover, if not there is alot of sniper around) and not tell him until the show start... hee hee... if he still got no feeling, then must really see a shrink liao...

At least you guys can fix a day every week or even a short trip once a month to do nothing but make the best love out of each other. I would always bring my girls to resort places as there is no shopping (killer for man) and all we can do is eat, sleep and f^^K... hee hee...

To me, I think maybe he is just a gentlemen grown up in a sex-free house and he doesn't want to mistreat you and also he does know that he is a lucky man with a gf with higher sex drive then him. So I would also suggest to him to open up all samster comment for him to see.

I've given you my thought, so all the best dear.

Dark_Traveller

[IwantbustyKim]

Perhaps you are pleasant looking (maybe even hot) but not pornographically acceptable? The porn industry is kind of like the women magazine industry, it creates unneccesary stress/demands on individuals with regards to an act that should be private and shared with 2 parties (or more).

As what the bros here suggested, maybe you can spice it up by having fantasy/roleplay or do what he/she suggested. Since he's so into porn, you should ask him why he is into it? because of the gals or the fantasies enacted out in the videos he's watching? Find out what genre he's into and surprise him.

E.g. if he like gals dressed up as students..don on a student uniform. But yeah...go ahead and make his day! =)

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by joew2005

if he saw u with other men ..... hw would he response ??

Also, if he is with other men .... hw would he behave ??

A cynical comment from me, but not out of the world
"He" may be watching porn, but maybe just trying to discern "his" sexual orientation and find answers for "him"self - esp if you didn't catch "him" jerking off while watching.

We've all heard stories of how people struggle in such cases, trying to get themselves a partner of opposite gender only to realize that's not what they really really want in life...

What kind of porm "he" has been watching?

[lonelyboy]

for me is totally opposite from u. everytime i request. everytime got rejected. excuses such as being too tired from work, want to sleep etc always comes up. so much so that it gets so boring. and its very damaging for my self esteem (try getting rejected 10 times in a row)

[alan0338]

SIS, maybe u not doing your job well in many ways, men need to be arouse, not say want to stand then stand and just poke, like that sex also very boring