So sad la..

[manny]

Jus wanna vent out wat's in my mind!! Married young wif 2kids.. Mid 20s.. Staying home to take care of kids.. Love my family alot but lately, HB has not been passionate in bed with mi.... We still do often but the passion is nt like years ago.. Feeling so sad...
I am not ugly mah..When guys look at me, he still feel jealous.. He is making me so confuse.. Am I not attractive to him anymore?? I'm not the kind of mom who looks like aunties.. I put in effort to look good, to make him proud when his friends see us.. He enjoys it but when comes to bed.. It's jus not like before... I can't tell him these and I don't know how to.... Feeling so sad....

Pls do not pm mi.. I jus wanna let it out my chest but jus can't find a suitable forum... Thanks for "listening" to my nonsense..

[antartica]

not much you've vented there
but maybe you could try to be more adventurous in bed?
take the first step instead of him initiating?
try "naughty" lingerie or sleep wear to make it more fun?
get some "toys" for him to play for your pleasure?

just trying to be helpful

[TokyoMan]

Well, Ladies being ladies. Have you tried to put yourself into his shoes?

I suppose he is the sole breadwinner am I right? Did you put in effort to ask him how is his work going? Probably he is having stress at work. Not to mention, Inflation and retrenchment is still on-going in Singapore as far as I'm concerned.

Communication between married couples are VERY VERY IMPORTANT. Often, lack of communication always lead to a marriage falling apart.

Take sometime to talk to him and find out more about his job. Is he facing any stress. Give him care and concern. Start of with a massage then without me teaching, you should know what to do next.

Hope the above can help you!

[saberman]

Girl, could it be that he is sick of the same style and routine? I am speaking from experience cos I don't really enjoy doing it with my wife becos of the same reason

[manny]

We r doing fine financially... Managable.. Everything is fine..jus that I feel the lack of passion in bed.. I tried everything! I wore sexily, initiate, bj for him.. Etc.. He loves it but as I said, we still do.. Jus that it's not as passionate as before.. When we used to try out everything and enjoys every bit of sex..
Really wonder why some guys in here can be so on about sex?? Or is because it's not with the wife.. But with other gals, thats why the excitement??
Or is it because he has another one outside?? That's why he got bored or me??

[manny]

Tokyoman... We do communicate leh.. As I said, all is fine except that part.. I just don't know how to tell him.. What if he gets the wrong idea about me criticizing him in bed?? Which I'm not?? Last time we used to love doing at every corner of the house but now, he's not keen.. Sian..

[Xgenre]

A lot of factors come into play when guys have sex. Maybe stress at work as suggested, maybe due to a lack of fitness (does he exercise?), maybe after 2 kids, your vagina isn't as tight. How does your love-making sequence go? Is it always you blow him in bed, missionary, doggie, missionary etc? Can you change the sequence and location from time to time? How about sex toys or sex boardgames? Dressing up doesn't really improve your sex life. What looks good outside may not feel good inside.

I think I can understand why he isn't so interested in sex. Sole-bread winner, come home tired and still got to play with 2 kids, listening to a housewife repeatedly nag the same old stories (kids lar, in-laws lar). When the kids are finally asleep, got to service the wife in bed. Not easy to feed 3 mouths financially too. Maybe he doesn't wish to touch you as he doesn't wish to feed another baby. You should consider working. Firstly, you relieve him of his financial worries. 2ndly, you become a more interesting person when you have a social life and there's something different in your life everyday that you can share with him.

[manny]

xgenre.. i never nag at him.. and I'm busy with the kids.. don't have the time to nag at him lor.. I'm the one taking care of the kids when they are back.. He is usually glued to the tv..
and we are afraid of having 3 babies too.. so we are careful.. I think you guys missed out something in my post leh.. we still do often.. just that we are not like before..

I wanted to go work but he is the one discouraging me to work.. He wants me to take care of the family needs and kids... and I am very disappointed.. no life.. everyday is kids.. and though my younger boy will be going to childcare soon, he still want me to stay at home.. reason being, the kids will fall sick often.. so better for me to stay home, take care.. cook for the family etc... I don't want to be aunty leh.. damn sian

[manny]

saberman.. if thats so, any solution for you and your wife?

xgenre.. i wan to change location.. i will "date" him beforehand.. wear spags with half of my boobs dropping out, tried leading him to the kitchen.. living room.. he is like.. entertain me only lor.. he will still "stand" for me la.. just that.. you know? not the wah.. enjoy.. have fun.. fuck till we drop kind of sex anymore..

maybe like saberman bro said.. he's getting sian of me already..

What should I do!!! why there's no gals in here? no one with the same problem as me?? hw envy!

[wolfmaker]

sex is a reflection of our relationship...man can take sex and love and split it, woman cant. so u find him not hving sex with u and u thought he dont love u...but from what u say...he still. At least u bother to make up and he like it...that tell..

so as for sex....ya...some bro say it right...its like eating hokkien mee for too long...need to take a break...so u would b worry if he eat other food right..

well, if his remembrance of u is all the good stuff, then quite difficult la...but if u keep this inside u and start to react to the smallest thing he do..so all tat he can remember of u is all the latest obvious bad experience....then he may.

so dont react to him...and dont think he got problem. continue to be sexy...and most of the time..,.we man are high in the morning, so dont ask man to do at night la....very difficult u noe.

[manny]

wolfman bro.. morning how to?! he wakes up earlier than me and left work liao lor! Very difficult to catch him..

why guys will sian huh? whereas we girls will still be so interested in the hb.. seriously, I always find my man sexy.. he used to tease me that he has a horny wife at home.. lol.. but no la.. I am only towards him. I just want him to enjoy sex like we used to.. when we can be so adventurous.. I know we have 2 kids now.. but I seriously don't want the kids to hinder our sexlife.. I love sex.. with him only!! (PLEASE da ge(s).. pls stop PM-ing me.. thanks!!) I will get disappointed when I am always or usually the one who have to tempt him for it.. seduce him for it.. why huh?!!? I will also get sian of it lor.. but I am trying not to..

[naturegreen]

i) Don't always expect him to move over to you to initiate the love-making session. Ask yourself this. Is this the case? Are you being the passive one? This is one very common mistake made by wives as they always expect the husband to be the one to be initiative. In the long run, any husband will get sick and be thinking "knn, always need me to start engine. How lovely will it be if the engine can auto start."

ii) Don't expect your love-making session to be just like the 1st passionate session 5-10 years ago. It will not.

Originally Posted by manny

I can't tell him these and I don't know how to....(

iii) Most women face the same problem as you and some very soon after seeks lovers outside who can satisfy their sexual urge. So it will still be best if you try your best to talk it out.

Originally Posted by antartica

try "naughty" lingerie or sleep wear to make it more fun? get some "toys" for him to play for your pleasure?

iv) By all means go ahead and get some lovely toys or "naughty" lingerie as suggested by this fellow samster. Who knows it might ignite the engine in your husband.

v) Last but not least, it takes 2 hands to clap.

[manny]

Originally Posted by naturegreen

i) Don't always expect him to move over to you to initiate the love-making session. Ask yourself this. Is this the case? Are you being the passive one? This is one very common mistake made by wives as they always expect the husband to be the one to be initiative. In the long run, any husband will get sick and be thinking "knn, always need me to start engine. How lovely will it be if the engine can auto start."

( bro... i am usually the one to start the engine leh.. i tink i should be the one thinking.. knn.. why always me lor!! how lovely it will be if the engine can auto start!) sigh...

ii) Don't expect your love-making session to be just like the 1st passionate session 5-10 years ago. It will not.
(why like that huh?!?!?) u guys can be passionate to the fls.. fb.. everyone except wife?!?


iii) Most women face the same problem as you and some very soon after seeks lovers outside who can satisfy their sexual urge. So it will still be best if you try your best to talk it out.


iv) By all means go ahead and get some lovely toys or "naughty" lingerie as suggested by this fellow samster. Who knows it might ignite the engine in your husband.
i did lor!! i feel so paiseh when my gd friend dragged me to the sex toy shop! but i still bought something.. we tried it at home and he loves it.. but cann't be everytime i buy wat!!!!!!!)

v) Last but not least, it takes 2 hands to clap.

I want him to clap his hand lor.. im bz clapping already...)

[big wood]

sister sometimes it take two hand to clap so why not talk to your hubby what u feel over the relationship instead keep inside your heart.u are still young tat is still a long way to go if u dont trash thing fast small problem will become big problem.wish u and family happy and has the best sex lives in future cheers

[gotcraft30]

i used to have a gf, everytime we do it i will tell myself i am damn lucky cos she is very pretty and the sex is REALLY good. But of cos you eat abalone everyday also will be a bit sian right?

Then she turned very emo, will say things like "You are doing it with me cos you no choice" or "How come we are not doing it as often or as many times a session" and things like that. It's a huge turn off la... Not all men's brains are in their dicks. Work stress, family stress etc affects our desire for sex also. So pls don't say that to your husband.

And pls get work or get a social life as some of the bros mentioned. Sex is not always about how you look, size of boobs or how tight it is.