Need advice for divorce

[tiptopsex]

Bros, I hope to seek some advice on divorce from those who is happy to share.

My relationship with my wife has soured over the past four to five years. She wants a divorce which I am more than happy to oblige. But i am bitter because I have to split my assets with her, for e.g. my house.

As she was studying when we bought our first house, I paid for the bulk of it. She contributed a small sum of her cpf but the monthly instalments thereafter were paid by me, on top of the household expenditure, her Uni fees, insurance, phone bills, children's education etc. Then we bought a bigger house near to my children's school with the proceeds from our first home. She started earning more than me when we moved to this house and so I made her contribute to the monthly instalments using her cpf, in addition to mine. I continued to pay for the bulk of things at home, for the car and for the kids among other things. She spends her salary on herself and the children's toys and stuff but not on me or to help with some of the household expenditures.

So without going in to other details about why our relationship soured, is there any way I can get a divorce without paying her a single cent? Or at most give her back what she has contributed to the house so far?

Our law is lopsided and puts the man at a great disadvantage, I believe. I am therefore grateful if any bros can offer some advice to me.

Thanks very much.

[HelloAngel]

Hello TS,

If she earns more than you, you don't need to give her alimony. It's not compulsory. But you definitely need to give child maintenance support. Thats by law. The court will look at your monetary contributions to the home and divide accordingly. Cpf used will be refunded back to cpf account. Excess will be divided to the agreed percentage. Discuss with your wife on these issues first. Eg, child access, child maintenance amount, housing plan, etc. It makes the divorce process easier. I would like to remind you that divorce is an emotionally tiring event if your spouse doesn't agree so think carefully first....

[tiptopsex]

Many thanks bro for your advice. She wants the divorce, because she can take half the sum of the house and go do what she wants. I have a bit more hesitation because I am unwilling to split the house equal share with her. She will not agree to the divorce if she gets anything less. Therefore I am quite sick of this stupid idea of a marriage and the law that disavantages men because the law makers are still stucked in the stone age where man were much more prone to mistreating their wives. These days, this role is much reversed, not because of my own plight but because I know of so many hard working men and dutiful fathers who have wives who have grown to become extremely materialistic and self centred.

But still, thank you for your advice. I hope there will be some way in which I can get her out of my life without much financial losses. She has already taken sooo much from me, such as her uni fees and all the luxury goods she made me buy for her.

Men like me are just poor dumb suckers.

[manboobs34]

Women charter are damn scary in singapore.

[HelloAngel]

TS,

I am a sis. Bringing up my son almost singlehandedly cos the dad is very calculative and refuses to pay more.

I didn't benefit from the women's charter. It got too tiring to keep fighting over the terms of divorce. I just wanted to settle it asap. Alimony zero. Child maintenance $200+ monthly. I can go on fighting to ask for more but it will end up in the higher courts for hearing. The maintenance amount is not even enough to cover my boy's monthly allowance.

Oh! He took a higher percentage of the flat cos he said he paid more. Tried to neg but he refuses to budge. I let it be. No point fighting cos the winner will be the lawyer.

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by tiptopsex

Many thanks bro for your advice. She wants the divorce, because she can take half the sum of the house and go do what she wants....She will not agree to the divorce if she gets anything less. Therefore I am quite sick of this stupid idea of a marriage and the law that disavantages men because the law makers are still stucked in the stone age where man were much more prone to mistreating their wives. These days, this role is much reversed, not because of my own plight but because I know of so many hard working men and dutiful fathers who have wives who have grown to become extremely materialistic and self centred.

Men like me are just poor dumb suckers.

Really Empathize wif TS bro tiptopsex...so sad to know tat many guys r still entering into tis kinda of lopsided marriages ...only to find tis out some time after the wedding esp after having kids...sigh...hope he gets his divorce settled asap if tat is wat both of them want n move on wif life anew wif the help of bros n sis who r v. knowledgeable in tis matter...All best wishes to him

[tiptopsex]

Thank you bros and sis for your advice. Yes, the eventual winner will be the lawyer and the biggest loser is me, as I will have to fork out a sum for the proceedings. And no matter the share of the house that goes to her, she is still the eventual winner. Contributed peanuts but will still be awarded a share of the house which has appreciated in value over the years. My worry is the kids wgen they go with her. She showers them with gifts and does not save. Couldn't save when she started working, even though she was earning above average and still says she is very tight every month dispite earning double of what she used to earn couple of years ago. What a big joke, and the joke's on me. Really no point living on.

[Archerguard]

since she is the one who wanted for a divorce.. and as long you have really done your best in whatever you could as a husband/ father.. you will have no regrets..

don't be surprised the next girlfriend/ wife of yours will make you realized all these while.. the ride is worthwhile..

health is equally important.. please take good care of your self and emotion..

[Captainoceania77]

I will never ever get marry again in Singapore . My uncle did swear too after his divorce with his Sg wife . Wife went court and contest him , she demanded at least one million cash . In the end only awarded 200k . Paid hell lot of legal fees and all the stress . Right now he is having a good time living in thailand with a thai woman without marriage. Singapore woman really hard to handle and please nowadays .

[Hurricane88]

TS, consult a good divorce lawyer if you want advice.

If she wants at least half then you can drag the divorce since she did not pay much initially? You can just continue to be married and lead a separate life. Your wife will be more miserable daily. If she made any mistake then her share will be lesser.

In the meantime quickly consult an accountant and lawyer to hide your assets within 3 years if she filed one sided divorce.

[findluv11]

Men is on the losing site with the stupid law in singapore.

[topcook1]

In this modern world of strong feminism is very unwise to settle down just for the sake of marriage . Woman has lost its values . Many of my friends are facing marriage problems too. When technology is so advance more temptations are coming in . Online platforms like OKC , tinder ,wechat , facebook etc provides more chances of infidelity. Times has change .

[Greendevil]

TS, your description below is based on the worst case scenarios where she want to fight the divorce. If both agreed amicably, then no need to lawyer to fight for your welfare.

One important point you didnt bought up and need to consider is the children. you mention you have children. whoever get the child custody will have a bigger say on the share of the asset. naturally you have a good arguement that you pay bulk of the expediture, assumming you can prove all below, but bear in mind that the judge eventually will take the child weflare as the key consideration and based on whoever has the custody. given your wife has ability to generate good income, the impact will be smaller but not for certainty you will get back 100% of your initial share.

well the law may be one sided, but bear in mind that lawyer and judges are human like us and they know it well. if you able to convince them and of course you have the child custody, you may in fact take your wife share as well LOL. i walked through that road and come our victorius, so i know it.