fall for colleague!!!

[Driftwood]

Originally Posted by arsenal_84

well i did ask her out for lunch with my current group, surprisingly she asked me as well after i approached her first, not sure if is out of courtesy sake.
anyway she's only been working for 2 weeks so i try not to make it look too obvious that i'm interested in her.

daily chat topics so far has been mostly about work but she seems to have some interest in investing like i do.
have not been able to get her to open up a wider range of chat topics unlike the colleague beside her.

i'm also well aware that if i don't step up my efforts, might end up losing her.
is just that i'm too preoccupied with my current workload to really pay her much attention cause i only just joined the company 1 month ago.
there are some process or procedures that i'm not aware of, so need to brush up my own knowledge first before teaching her more on my dept job scope.

Hmm, well it's good that she's taking note of you by asking you out for lunch. But then again, don't overthink it. As you have mentioned, she's new and could be trying to see which lunch group fits her most. Or she could simply be just fishing for information and building good relations across the company. Hence, don't read too much into it.

Personally, I feel, since you are new in the company too, it's probably best you play it low. I can see where you are coming from when you said you might lose her. But, think of this way, you never had her in the first place, what's there to lose?

At this point, have you found out if she's seeing someone or just out of a relationship? If you have answers to these questions and if the answers are no, then maybe you could try to leave an impression on her. I learned something from my current crush. The more I tried to be nice to her, the more she ran away from me. I switched and started to treat her normally. I won't say it was a turning point but it made her took notice of me. To summarize, maybe don't show all your cards. Just play it one at a time and get her to notice you. I don't really know what she is like, so for this, I'm afraid you are in a better position to decide which card to play.

Bro, ending words are still the same, good luck and tread carefully. I didn't know you just joined the company too. Since you have just joined, I would suggest you try to find out more if your company's management is receptive to relationships and what's going to happen if the relationship is made public. I work in the finance industry and it's common knowledge that one half would have to leave for another team/department or bank.

I wish you all the best.

[makeyouhappy]

Originally Posted by arsenal_84

anyway she's only been working for 2 weeks so i try not to make it look too obvious that i'm interested in her.
i'm also well aware that if i don't step up my efforts, might end up losing her.
is just that i'm too preoccupied with my current workload to really pay her much attention cause i only just joined the company 1 month ago.
there are some process or procedures that i'm not aware of, so need to brush up my own knowledge first before teaching her more on my dept job scope.

It's.. a love at first sight thing?

You barely even know each other. PLUS you're in a new work environment and you all have energy for infatuation?

I don't mean to belittle your feelings and all, but you probably shouldn't be so invested into this. Let things play out over time and determine first what she really means to you.

[Driftwood]

Originally Posted by arsenal_84

the nick sounds familiar, you travis fan too ?

Haha just saw this line, sorry bro!

Can't say I'm a Travis fan but I like their music. Soothing to the ears and the lyrics carry a meaning...kind of depicting my situation sometimes.

I suppose this line from them would best describe your current situation

"Never see you coming around..." And she just swept you off your feet..haha ok better not OT here haha

[arsenal_84]

Originally Posted by makeyouhappy

I don't mean to belittle your feelings and all, but you probably shouldn't be so invested into this. Let things play out over time and determine first what she really means to you.

not really invested in my feelings as i got my own work deadlines to clear first.
to be honest, this is not a job i intend to stay for long, once there are other job opportunities, will intend to move on.
considering the regulations of SFA, it is a job that severely restricts me from building an efficient equities portfolio.

[arsenal_84]

Originally Posted by Driftwood

Personally, I feel, since you are new in the company too, it's probably best you play it low. I can see where you are coming from when you said you might lose her. But, think of this way, you never had her in the first place, what's there to lose?

At this point, have you found out if she's seeing someone or just out of a relationship? If you have answers to these questions and if the answers are no, then maybe you could try to leave an impression on her. I learned something from my current crush. The more I tried to be nice to her, the more she ran away from me. I switched and started to treat her normally. I won't say it was a turning point but it made her took notice of me. To summarize, maybe don't show all your cards. Just play it one at a time and get her to notice you. I don't really know what she is like, so for this, I'm afraid you are in a better position to decide which card to play.

similar to your case, i'm also treating her normally, nothing nice in particular.
my viewpoint for relationships has always been "if is meant to be, is meant to be" or what's yours will be yours eventually.
maybe is always this sort of mentality that i'll been single for many years.

while i'm eager to get to know her better, just really can't find the time to do that during work for some small talk while during lunch my mind is rather preoccupied with the tasks i plan to do in the afternoon.
perhaps when i get some answers to the questions you posted, i will be better able to look at the bigger picture again.

[Driftwood]

Originally Posted by arsenal_84

similar to your case, i'm also treating her normally, nothing nice in particular.
my viewpoint for relationships has always been "if is meant to be, is meant to be" or what's yours will be yours eventually.
maybe is always this sort of mentality that i'll been single for many years.

while i'm eager to get to know her better, just really can't find the time to do that during work for some small talk while during lunch my mind is rather preoccupied with the tasks i plan to do in the afternoon.
perhaps when i get some answers to the questions you posted, i will be better able to look at the bigger picture again.

Well, good that you are playing it low key. Perhaps for a start, just get to know her first during lunch? Usually, I feel, girls are more comfy in lunch groups, cause it's like a way for them to assess you and maybe us to assess them as well.

The other way to know her better is probably to add her on FB or get her no, so you could whatsapp her. Since the two of you are new and the day is busy with work, you could chat on whatsapp while on your way back? It's kind keeping her company on her journey home. But of cos, you are fishing for info lah haha

For me, after the 'open' tactic, I offered to buy her lunch, when I realized her team mates weren't doing that for her. This didn't become a habit but at least when she's busy and needed lunch, she would think of me. One may look at it as being used, but then again, think positive. At least she thinks of you. I believe these are the little acts that would help score points.

The other way is probably try to get close to her female friends in office (if she has any). They might help you put in a few good words too.

[bonkning]

Originally Posted by arsenal_84

similar to your case, i'm also treating her normally, nothing nice in particular.
my viewpoint for relationships has always been "if is meant to be, is meant to be" or what's yours will be yours eventually.
maybe is always this sort of mentality that i'll been single

i prefer direct approach... hunch....first u must feel tt u got chance. of course there r gers who r juz frenly n nothin else. then juz ask her out. in this day n age, if ger like u she wil smile n say where..watime. if she start her excuse without counter proposals....forget it.

[ringo6668]

Originally Posted by bonkning

i prefer direct approach... hunch....first u must feel tt u got chance. of course there r gers who r juz frenly n nothin else. then juz ask her out. in this day n age, if ger like u she wil smile n say where..watime. if she start her excuse without counter proposals....forget it.

Bro tikobonk I same with you also like direct.hehe don't like waste time lor

[bonkning]

ooii hoseibo...tikoringo ..
ya lidat gud...if not interested then u can concentrate resources on to other targets or priorties..nonid think about her liao
lidat ah.. ur skin must b thick orr ..hehehh

[bonkning]

Originally Posted by Driftwood

The other way is probably try to get close to her female friends in office (if she has any). They might help you put in a few good words too.

dun backfire leh... wait they say u veri tico...going for all the gers in the room...

[ringo6668]

Originally Posted by bonkning

ooii hoseibo...tikoringo ..
ya lidat gud...if not interested then u can concentrate resources on to other targets or priorties..nonid think about her liao
lidat ah.. ur skin must b thick orr ..hehehh

Off course lah bro skin boh thick how to sian chio bu

[Driftwood]

Originally Posted by bonkning

dun backfire leh... wait they say u veri tico...going for all the gers in the room...

Oh jialat, didn't factor that in, no wonder so far only one way traffic from me! Haha

[porscheclub]

My God. Is this a dating forum?

Pardon me for stirring shit but you guys need to man up & be a gentleman when it comes to dating. Hunt for the prey and take the bite but when she rejects you then take it as a gentleman and move on!

As an employer, I would close an eye on dating within the company but take your intimacy out & keep it professional or both are fired.

[arsenal_84]

Originally Posted by Driftwood

The other way is probably try to get close to her female friends in office (if she has any). They might help you put in a few good words too.

won't really consider this method as it has backfired on me before when i was younger.
better to take the direct approach but slowly see how first...

[Driftwood]

Originally Posted by arsenal_84

won't really consider this method as it has backfired on me before when i was younger.
better to take the direct approach but slowly see how first...

Guess each to his own bah. There's no right or wrong way. For me, this is working fine as her closest friends in the office are supportive of me 'going' after her. But of course, they also don't want to see me hurt, so I could sense they are also telling me to be ready for the 'worst', if things didn't work out. However, for this to work, that close friend(s) must be putting in good words for you instead of just teasing you about it.

Bro Porscheclub, your thinking reflects the norm of what many of my closer friends are saying. If you could sense she isn't making any positive responses, time to pull the plug. An investment theory I suppose, pull the plug to cut losses instead of letting it move into the red further. Maybe I am just a sucker for this one sided thing, and as mentioned earlier, since I'm not hurting anyone else (but maybe myself), why and what do I care? It might sound dumb (and foolish), but having a crush on her actually brought a new lease of confidence in me. Something which I have been missing for some time.