Husband loves surfing porn

[YELLOW]

u noe y i dont feel like toking to the wife...? becos cannot communicate .... one chicken one duck....tok a bit more chances of quarrel increase ... i dont feel like spoiling my evening.... does ur husband feel the same way ???

Originally Posted by Stylec4444

Whatever it is don't try something on the side. If wanna end it then end it properly then only....

[MarlboroKen]

Originally Posted by conquer

He must be surfing the notorious sammyboyforum.

Simi Nick.

[ingzi]

Originally Posted by YELLOW

u noe y i dont feel like toking to the wife...? becos cannot communicate .... one chicken one duck....tok a bit more chances of quarrel increase ... i dont feel like spoiling my evening.... does ur husband feel the same way ???

So by not talking and spoiling her evening is ok?
Dont talk dont iron things out dont try to improve jus keep sweeping things under the carpet things will be ok? It will jus be temporary ok cos it will happen again and then things snowball n over the years the problem gets bigger. If both talk nicely and reasonably it need not lead to quarrel. Often its cos one party becomes unreasonable, nasty in the talk or gets agitated that result in a quarrel.

[RoyalKnight]

Compromise and sacrifices is needed on both side. Don't give up !

[Retrosynthesis]

Originally Posted by bloggert

Quite apart from your husband's activities, I think the first thing is to work on your own self-esteem and happiness. I've seen many cases where women look to their husbands as the key to their happiness - ie. if the husbands do this, they're happy, if the husband does not do that, they become sad. Anchoring your happiness on another person is a sure route to disappointment. Learning to be happy in yourself is the first thing to becoming a successful person because you are ultimately an independent human being.

Secondly, if you have found your own happiness, you become a much better partner too and people will want things from you. You may even discover that your husband could change his attitude as a result of you finding your own happiness.

In order to do that, you will have to look into yourself and start doing things for yourself. Don't worry so much about what your husband does or does not do for you. He probably loves you, maybe not in the way you want him to love you. The truth is many local guys don't fit your Hollywood styled suave romantic lover but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Like I said above, be responsible for your own happiness. I've never seen a case where people coerce the other person successfully to make them happy.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Don't pin that on anyone else. After that, maybe work constructively towards realistic expectations of what is truly important. Men, too, need time to grow - but such opportunities don't always come for them. Good communications can help in this regard. It's a little counter-intuitive but perhaps you may want to find out what it is that your husband really thinks and likes (and be prepared that these are things that you may not like). The ability to accept and change cuts both ways. If you want your husband to change, I guess the question is how much are you also prepared to change.

Once again, we get so much of the Western bullshit about "if he can't love me the way I am, he doesn't deserve me." The truth is we all change all the time, in order to get to a better place. So work on that, be a better person - for yourself, and not in order to try to negotiate something from your husband. Work on your self-esteem and on whatever baggages you might have.

Also, why is it that men surf porn? It's mainly to fill some emptiness (could be boredom or some other sexual frustration.) Porn is a kind of proxy to real life, a fantasy if you like. It does not mean they don't like you but it could very well mean they're not getting something they want from you. It may be something you are not yet able to give (eg. a confident, strong, smart, sexy woman) but I think it is something women can be. At the risk of generalisation, what men see in porn is the fantasy woman who knows what she wants, who isn't afraid to be sexy, who is beautiful and enjoys sex, who is smart. Of course, there are also men who are into all kinds of fetishes but those are generally things you don't have to worry about because they're usually so far out that it's pure fantasy.

There's too much to write, but hopefully this gives you some ideas.

From my male perspective, I totally agree with what bloggert said.

[Retrosynthesis]

Maybe when you can be a little more detach by being more independent, it’ll reduce the tension and better the relationship. I always feel stressed when a girl is overly dependent. It makes the girl less attractive too.

[RhianBrewster]

Originally Posted by jwat

I bet your inbox now full . Do you want to try take out?

Why full leh?

[nasdaq]

Who not keen to surf porn? Who said surf porn means eat out?

[shorttime]

thats a saying:

Woman get into marriage, thinking they can changed the man.

Man get into marriage, thinking the woman will not changed.

[badboythai]

Originally Posted by RoyalKnight

Compromise and sacrifices is needed on both side. Don't give up !

Bro i agreed with u "Compromise and sacrifices" these two words very important

[wahick]

Originally Posted by nasdaq

Who not keen to surf porn? Who said surf porn means eat out?

My exact sentiments.

[BruceGrobbelaar]

Originally Posted by RhianBrewster

Why full leh?

Ya lor. Why?

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by ingzi

I know its common man do surf porn but i get upset knowing my that my man do that. Its really makes my confidence go all low knowing he always surfs porn..����

Now makes me think if he eats out too.

Whenever we have an arguement, things turn ugly and he doesnt seem to care how i feel or where i have gone..or if anything will happen to me..

10 years of marriage really makes me feel so heartache. Its likei have wasted 10 yrs of my life.

He is not a romantic or sensitive guy. I need a guy who cares and loves me thru action not thru nags. We talked abt these thruout the 10 yrs but as the yrs go, i feel more n more empty and frustrated. Many a times i really cannot stand his nags. He can be unreasonable and bad temper but i cant. When i do, he hurls really nasty words on me.

In case you think we are not doing enough bedroom activities, i would think not. Sometimes i would initiate but he says he is too tired.

I really feel very sad when i know he surfed porn and searched for escort contacts (he said he was curious only) and have tot of divorce b4 but i guess i still love him hence im still stuck in this circle.

I really dunno how to trust him fully. N how to think open not to be bogged down by his porn surfing activity.����

its actually very natural for men to look at porn. And I know ladies who do it regularly too and watch with their other halves

in Australia, playboy and other magazines are available over the shelves

not a big deal at all overseas, so why are we so uptight here in Singapore?

maybe you can consider spicing up the marriage and watch it with him. Perhaps he bored of the sex life and he is looking for some ways to be excited with you

[MarlboroKen]

Originally Posted by shorttime

thats a saying:

Woman get into marriage, thinking they can changed the man.

Man get into marriage, thinking the woman will not changed.

Nice. I like what you say

[conquer]

Originally Posted by priceteck

Then the wife also surfing here. Hmm.

At least this couple has a common hobby.